We were talking in the Carey staff-room the other day about our experiences of community. Someone quoted Derek Tidball, “community has become an aerosol word, it gets sprayed around and smells nice but quickly vanishes into thin air”. Dr Laurie Guy shared a couple of interesting memories – I asked him to type them up for you. [Please join in our discussion by posting a reply! What do you think makes authentic community? Where do the people you lead find such community? And what does this mean for ministry and mission? Oh, and don’t forget to vote in The Carey Poll.]
Laurie Guy writes:
Memory One: I was in a pastors’ group of four that met once a fortnight. We tended to talk shop: attendances, baptisms etc. – nothing too deep. Good, but not that good. At one point I pointed this out and suggested that we should rather share what was happening in our inner lives (discouragements, joys, doubts, dreams, issues etc). This was welcomed and that’s how we operated thereafter. There was still some ‘shop talk’, but we could quickly remind ourselves of our agreed purpose and move to deeper sharing. That group is the best one I’ve ever experienced.
Memory Two: As pastor I invited a church group to perform a Jamie Owens Come Together musical to our congregation. Man, was it good! But at one point they suddenly said, ‘Turn to the people next to you and pray together about your needs’. I turned to the couple next to me who had been attending the church for at least ten years. There was panic on their faces – petrified! ‘What should we do?’ they said helplessly. I smoothed over the situation to avoid their discomfort – and we didn’t pray!
Recent developments: It’s now quite common in evangelical/charismatic churches for the leader to say, ‘Why don’t you turn to the person next to you and confess your darkest secrets (or your wildest dreams) and pray for one another?’ I cringe. I feel slight discomfort for me, especially if I hardly know the other person. But I have a greater discomfort for other people who will feel a lot more discomfort. Especially is this the case in relation to people who are new to the congregation – particularly inquiring ‘seekers’ who are on a spiritual journey and not in the same place as the in-group who want this spiritual intimacy.
My thoughts: I appreciate the desire for community lying behind the suggestion to share and pray. But in sixty seconds with relatively unknown people, is it authentic community or pseudo-community? ‘Like’, click, hmm . . . ? In church worship Paul was deeply concerned for the effect on the ‘outsider’ (1 Cor 14.23). In that context, is the intimate prayer suggestion dumb or dumber?
An issue: We need authentic community that is more than a superficial buzz for the in-group. Often there is little community with people who are ‘other’ (another ethnicity, another generation, a different educational, vocational or socio-economic background)? We say, ‘We are all one in Christ’, but our actions with people who are ‘other’ often don’t foster this oneness but rather excludes it.
Real community – yes! Pseudo-community – nah!
